My Games

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Unique Weapons (generated by the Weird & Wonderful Weapon Hack 2.0)

This is a set of example weapons built using my Weapon Hack 2.0. As with how I use most tables, this isn't about following the table exactly, but using it as a point of reference. I'll decide on some number of qualities at some number of costs, see what I get, organize it into something interesting and coherent, and give it a name, some details, and maybe a plot-hook or related NPC. In the same way that James Raggi of Lamentations of the Flame Princess has argued that every monster should feel unique and should be able to be a story unto themselves, I think people should put a greater emphasis on doing the same with weapons. And not just the macguffin / generic Excalibur-esque supersword type of legendary weapons, but weapons that tell a unique story and say something about the character wielding them or the location they're found in. So hopefully these examples will demonstrate what the Weapon Hack can do and how to make weapons interesting both for combat use and for storytelling.

NameBase FormTotal CostQualitiesDescriptionPlot Hook
FlamemareMedium: 1d6, One-handed1Sticky (0); Devil-Water (0); Elemental: Fire (1)A one-handed but powerful, piston-pumping warhammer, powered by devil-water which leaks onto the handle. The combustion of the devil-water frequently ignites onto the leaking surface, covering the head in flame.A Blackcap Goblin warlord designed the Flamemare, powering it with his own devil-water, and that of his slain enemies. A talented phreaker and materialist, he kaibermantically manipulates the wild flames of the devil-water, such that his horde appears as a stampede of oily black horses in an aura of fire.
MerstaffMedium: 1d6, One-handed1Whispering (0); Animal (0); Elemental: Water (1)A swordfish-like naiad, geased to serve as a pointed staff. It whispers nothings into the ear of its wielder to no avail. Once a revered lake spirit, over the centuries the naiad grew bored and resentful of its limited domain. It manipulated its village into building an aqueduct, connecting the lake to a larger network of waters. The village benefited greatly from its aqueduct, growing in power and influence. The village rose to a fiefdom, overpowering its neighbors. After years of greed and exploitation, eventually the exploited villages united, razing their ruler's village to the ground. The naiad, seen as the architect of their suffering, was geased into a weapon to serve the people. Its elemental power over water is also leveraged to power the aqueduct. If the staff were taken, the united villages would be unable to power their aqueduct and necessarily fall to famine and chaos.
Metallic VenomLight: 1d4, +1 AB, One-handed, Concealable as free quality1Edible (0); Mutilating (1)A knife-like file of an unknown metal alloy. When mixed with blood and saliva, such as when licked on the sharp edge, a chemical reaction between the materials produces a coating that is volatile to living tissue.The original alloy was developed in a remote village, and was cheap to produce and easy to work into kitchen cutlery. Fearing the attention and inevitable exploitation this would elicit, when the soldiers arrived, they changed the formula in the alloy, inducing the poisonous reaction. Hundreds of innocents died. When the soldiers came back to punish the villagers, the villagers all committed ritual suicide with the venomous knives. The village was completely raised, and the formula for the alloy lost. It is believed that all but three of these knives have been destroyed. The Grim General would pay handsomely for even one of these knives.
RosethornMedium: 1d6, One-handed1Fragrant (0); Invisible (1)An invisible shortsword identifiable only by its strong and pleasant rose-like aroma. As the thorns of a rose are often obscured, so to is this sword.After countless guerrila slaughters, the major kingdoms agreed to an invisible weapons ban, making the use of weapons hidden from the senses a war crime. The Grim General realized that by making the weapons fragrant, he could circumvent the letter of the law. Less than a dozen Rosethorns were produced, when one of the blacksmiths on the project had a crisis of conscience, fled to the Deino Kingdom, and made the project public. The project was shut down and the weapons were supposed to have been destroyed, but it is believed that the Grim General saved at least one Rosethorn. If they were to be discovered it would be a political controversy. If they were to be stolen, reproduced, and placed in the wrong hands, it would be war.
Arm of Frankenstein's DemonHeavy: 1d8, Two-handed2Animal (0); Electrical (0); Spellbreaking (2)The arm an ogre-mage, kept reanimated with electricity and preserved with yellow jam, giving it a jaundiced-yellow color. In addition to its use as a blunt weapon, residual jammer magic in the arm can be used to counter spells or mana burn arcane magic users and phreakers.An ancient materialist and apoptomancer, a mad alchemist, a practitioner of the dark sciences, once deigned to create life. He practiced placing the spirits of his mad compatriots into the bodies of ogres and other monstrous creatures, but this was not enough to sate his curiosity. He combined the parts of the most powerful ogre-mages, the parts of his former friends in the bodies of ogres, to construct a super-demon of electricity and yellow magic. He succeeded in creating his demon, but he knew not what he was unleashing, and eventually the demon would be the death of him. Nobody knows what exactly happened to the demon, but it is said that a mad warlock off the meridian system, near Nova Arkham, wields the power of its arm to conduct its mad magics.
Flame-Dancing Yo-Yo Light: 1d4, +1 AB, One-handed, Concealable as free quality2Greasy (0); Elemental: Fire (1); Flexible (1)A greasy yo-yo producing some kind of animal fat, the friction of the yoyo sets it aflame. The twists and complex motions of the yoyo can create dancing flames. Although made of synthetic materials, it seems that some oily organism lives inside the yo-yo. No one is sure how the creature got inside the yo-yo, and nobody has been able to open it without destroying it. Whatever the case, the grease of the creature has made the yo-yo itself, and the string, stronger and more resiliant, and the former childrens toy has become the ceremonial weapon for the chieftan of the village, going back several generations. To become chieftan, one must face off against the current chieftan in a dance-off yo-yo battle... to the death!
Heat-StrokeLight: 1d4, +1 AB, One-handed, Concealable as free quality2Singing (0); Small (1); Phlogisten (1)A halfling-sized shortsword that glows violet with phlogisten heat. The sweeping of the blade and the ever-changing heat differential as the phlogisten absorbs heat from its environment produces a pleasant singing sound.A weapon created by the halfling/vaki. It was intended as a multi-purpose tool to provide light and warmth in subterranean travels, and the singing would scare off sonic bats and other cave creatures, and burn away by the time the party reached the end of their travels. Because of their temporary nature, high cost, difficulty to produce, and strategic importance, they rarely sell the heat-strokes to outsiders. Only those who earn the trust of a vaki company may receive a heat-stroke.
Pitmaster PlantMedium: 1d6, One-handed2Plant (0); Cooking (0); Elemental: Impossible light (2)A long reddish-purple plant that ends in a two-pronged fork like a barbecue skewer. The plant is impossible light photosynthetic, and can also draw power from skewered impossible organisms.Like the devil's own pitchfork, a hellish, living, vine-like impossible organism, barbecuing the denizens of hell (if rumors are to be believed). The current owner of the pitmaster plant has, in fact, become a renowned barbecue pitmaster and chef. Once a greasy spoon out in the middle of nowhere, after stumbling upon the plant, the quality of their food improved over night. Not just the subtle tastes and textures, but the meat itself seemed to change entirely, in colors and shapes and aromas. As their star rises, some have noted that many of their customers become violently ill, or have mysteriously disappeared. It's probably just a coincidence...
Rainbow BatonLight: 1d4, +1 AB, One-handed, Concealable as free quality2Plastic (0); Multi-Colored (1); Elemental: Air (1)A plastic, rainbow-colored conductor's baton. The sweeping motions of the baton can harness the power of air, subtly altering airflow, producing bursts of pneumatic power.The pneumatic abilities of the baton allow it to be used for musical conduction, aerial magics, and as a wind instrument. It was designed by a renowned conductor / explorer, a renaissance person, who needed to be both conductor and performer; artist and combatant. The ultimate musical bardic tool. On their last expedition deep into The Wilds to discover the musical majesties of nature, the conductor went missing. The search for the lost conductor is still ongoing.
Thought-PickerLight: 1d4, +1 AB, One-handed, Concealable as free quality2Crafting (0); Reflective (0); Astrium (2) A psychic dental instrument made of astrium glass, on one end a mirror and the other a dental pick. Can harness the power of anxiety to carve works of art out of teeth and other dentate tissue.The astral plane is a place where boundaries of self and identity are deconstructed. One does not simply go to the astral plane, they become it. Not all who seek the ways of mystics find enlightenment. Some, at best, become psycho-knights, and others, psychopathic killers. One such fool was a dentist. His ego so stretched and warped by the astral plane, upon his return, he became fascinated with the horrors people unleash on their teeth. The gnashing and clenching and chattering. At first he would pull teeth that did not need pulling to carve his art, but eventually this was not enough. He must have all the teeth, even if it means he must kill his patients. The dentist, with his handy astral-edged thought-picker, travels from remote village to remote village, offering dental services on the cheap.
Ur-SmithHeavy: 1d8, Two-handed2Ugly (0); Elemental: Metal (1); Elemental: Earth (1)A heavy pickaxe on one end, a hammer on the other. A single stroke of the axe can carve complex tunnels, and a single stroke of the hammer can perfectly smelt ore. The hammer appears rusted and is covered in the tetanus blood of those who could not handle its power.This mythic tool was created ages ago by a great Coleopteran queen, often given demigod-like status. It is thought that the dwarves were once more populous, with sprawling subterranean kingdoms, but with the Ur-Smith, the coleopterans overtook much of their territory and the dwarves were forced to abandon their past. Of course, now even the coleopterans are a rare breed, at least within the meridian system. The Ur-Smith is thought to be lost somewhere deep in the abandoned subterranean system. Without the ability to create new meridian nodes on the surface, if any kingdom were to find the Ur-Smith, they would be able to expand their domain well beyond the capabilities of the other kingdoms.
Wailing RamHeavy: 1d8, Two-handed2Static Charge (0); Loud (0); Impossigen (2)A battering ram filled with impossigen, making it especially useful against a-logical structures and impossible organisms. Each bash of the ram produces a hideous sound like the wail of a ram or goat, and a powerful static shock on impact.During an incursion from another universe, the Men of Leng, demonic, goat-like beastmen, brought with them certain tools from their universe. One of them, the wailing ram. While disorientating and unwieldy in its internal physics under normal conditions, where impossible organisms thrive and a-logical physical principles prevail, the wailing ram can be a powerful tool for bearing down on villages and small towns. Few remain, most having long ago fallen apart under normal physics. Those few are often employed less for their siege effectiveness, and more so for their intimidating wailing noises. One gang of gnolls recently got their hands on a wailing ram, and have been terrorizing the nearby villages and towns.
Bolter of BreakingMedium: 1d6, One-handed3Short Range (1); Meridian Metal (1); Breaking (1)Like a crossbow made of meridian metal, except rather than a bow and string, the bolts project by magical energy, making them exceptionally potent at breaking objects. Coded into the metal is a Hold Portal spell which can be cast once per day by firing a bolt.A prototype for an auto-magical military-police weapon. Its mechanical and magical ability to break objects makes it useful for taking out a lone attacker in a hostage or violent outburst situation in a relatively non-violent manner. It can also be useful for temporarily containing powerful outlaws with its Hold Portal spell, until they can be routed to a more secure location. They have been itching for an excuse to try out their new prototype and securing funds for a mass rollout, but such a rollout would be expensive and is currently an unpopular plan. If the prototype could play a pivotal role in a media-grabbing incident, surely they could get the funds...
Dragon LanceHeavy: 1d8, Two-handed3Ornamental (0); Sentient (1); Aether Metal (2)A large and ornate fire lance made of aether metal, the shape of a dragon twists around the shaft. The lance is too large for practical use and can't be fired, but it has an animalistic intelligence and is believed to house the spirit of a dragon.The Dragon Lance was said to have been created by the very first aether dragoon, a massive deino who could wield pillars like a lance. The lance is clearly ornamental, making this story unlikely. Even so, it is valued by the mercenary group Riesentotter, whose lineage carries back to the beginning of the aether dragoons, during the deino-tartarian wars. A group of quenduin thieves recently stole the dragon lance right from under the Riesentotter. They have managed to keep this embarrassing event secret, for now, but are looking for agents to find the lance and return it to them, discretely.
GodspineHeavy: 1d8, Two-handed3Concealable (1); Glowing (1); Cold Iron (1)A long object in the shape of a spine, that can be concealed by attaching itself over the wielder's own spine. When detached and wielded, it glows blue with anti-fey energy.The spine of an ancient, mythic creature, possibly humanoid. Nobody has been able to determine if the spine has been somehow transmuted into cold iron, or if it came from a creature made of cold iron; if it is the spine of a fey creature, an impossible organism, or some other parraterrestrial organism of immense power. Nobody knows for sure who has the Godspine, but it is rumored that the Grim General wears it on his person at all times. Of course, if this were true, the Fey King would be quite unpleased.
Kaiber-Gaussian Sniper RifleHeavy: 1d8, Two-handed3Long Range (1); Magical (1); Deadly (1)An ancient artifact, a magnet-rail sniper rifle. The magnetic field of the rifle is kaibermantically encoded, and not a physical magnetic barrel that could be reverse engineered.High-calibre sniper rifles, especially Gaussian rifles, are a rare enough commodity as is, but the kaiber-gaussian sniper rifle is especially unique. It is believed to have been created very early in the current era, or in some prior era between that of the ancient technologies and the present, but its exact kaiber-mechanics are even less well understood than the even more ancient, strictly mechanical Gaussian artifacts. It had been held in a museum in the Dogu Kingdom, but went missing, and is believed to have been stolen by the dogu mafia and smuggled into Nova Arkham. The reason for this is unknown, but the Nova Arkham military police are on the lookout for an unusual sniper rifle.
Pneumatic Knockout MachineLight: 1d4, +1 AB, One-handed, Concealable as free quality3Medium Range (1); Stunning (1); Silenced (1)An antique-looking weaponized air press. Filled with pressurized gas pellets that, when released on contact, incapacitate their targets. The pneumatic power of the pump is nearly silent.An unusual and unassuming contraption, originally designed for feldshers to anesthetize their patients. Some spies and assassins disguise themselves as feldshers, their odd tools a convenient disguise for weapons and tools of stealth and thievery. The mysterious reptilian Feldsher of the Quickie-Cut Barbershop has recently come under fire, being accused of making and selling pneumatic knockout machines to foreign spies and other enemies of the state. The evidence is dubious at best, but the Grim General himself has already decided that the Feldsher must be guilty and has expedited the trial.
Swarm RakeMedium: 1d6, One-handed3Farming (0); Reach (1); Byzma Metal (2)A long-handled rake, the head made of byzma metal. If programmed with byzma metal armor, the teeth of the rake can detach from the head and swarm around the wielder, pelting others in reach.During the height of the psilosymbiote wars, even the farmers had some garlic knight training. They wore byzma metal armor and used farming tools made of byzma metal. The detachable, autonomous teeth of the rake, while less effective than a garlic knight chakram or sword, could provide short-term protection against a horde of psilosymbiotes. Now, rather than fighting psilosymbiotes, these rakes are used to fend off against bandits and tax collectors. One wandering garlic knight has taken it upon himself to protect his new village against those who seek to exploit their rich farms.
The RosegoldMedium: 1d6, One-handed3Bronze (0); Mutilating (1); Deadly (2)An urumi, like a flail of metal sheets. Although soft against iron and harder metals, it is damaging and mutilating against leather and flesh.The rosegold is so named for the pinkish color it has developed from the staining of blood on the bronze sheets of the flail. Although still found in remote villages, it is considered a war crime to use an urumi. It is primarily only effective against under-armoured targets, and inflicts devastating, mutilating wounds. For this reason, it is often used by guerrila fighters and terrorists. An unidentified killer has somehow gotten their hands on a traditional rosegold, and has been targeting individuals with political and industrial power. The Grim General, Occulon, and other powerful individuals wish to find this killer and make an example of them.
Twilight SnakeMedium: 1d6, One-handed3Anthropomorphic (0); Obsidian (1); Masterwork (2)A piercing obsidian flammard. The guard is in the shape of a serpentine humanoid head, the blade like an outstretched serpent tongue.The preferred dueling blade of a mutant outlaw with the ability to create dueling fields. Not in itself especially powerful, but by reputation alone the Twilight Snake has become a symbol to be feared.
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