My Games

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Weird Sheep & Wonderful Sorcerers: Sheep and Sorcery Appreciation

This is an appreciation post for Michael Kennedy at Sheep and Sorcery. Mike is an old G+ friend, and I believe one of the first and also the longest-running member of my Phantasmos discord game group. He played in my LotFP SHIELDBREAKER campaign, my FASERIP superhero crossover one-shot, and was also a co-player in z_bill's Sharp Swords & Sinister Spells campaign and Dan's Danscape campaign. He also has several really awesome settings, discussion posts, and other cool features on his blog, and this post is going to grab bits and pieces and hopefully make something cool out of it.

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We begin within a ship frozen in time. The generation ship was on a voyage Into the Weird Blue Yonder, when it was assaulted by none other than the Spectacular Space Kraken. Fearing the demise of their entire civilization, the Arch-Pope Father Fyodor Karamazov encoded a spell into the numerological ship computer, sending a tachyonic temporal force missile backwards in time, the velocity of the missile pulling the ship against time itself, such that while time operates normally within the ship, it appears frozen outside the ship. Karamazov has cybernetically integrated himself into the ship and taken on the title of God Emperor, and has maintained this ship stuck in time for countless generations. The general entropy and dynamical shifts of languages and cultures over time, along with the occasional inter-dimensional portal opened by the God Emperor himself, has led to all sorts of new developments of monsters and inhumans throughout the ship, such as the F-Men, The Red Sons, and the Martian Vampires.

In his inter-dimensional, multiversal travels, the God Emperor has made few friends, and many enemies, against which the peoples of the ship must contend. One such enemy is an ascendant wizard, an incorporeal lich borne from the nightmares of a slumbering frost wyrm. His minions from across the multiverse assault the ship every 100 years, attempting to harness the God Emperor's powers to perform a ritual to separate the wizard's essence from the frost wyrm's dream before it awakens (which incidentally is projected to occur just after the next assault...).

Most of the old gods were long ago forgotten, even Father Fyodor Karamazov himself condemned the old gods when he declared himself God Emperor. There is only one other faith that rivals the faith of the God Emperor, The Church of the Smiling God.

There are two members of the Court of the Smiling God who are best positioned to become the next Hungry Avatar. The first is Princess Porcina, a small but perfect girl. For her overall size, she is perfectly proportioned and in every way is the most beautiful woman that any man has ever laid eyes upon. She is, however, fragile as glass and rides about in an egg of transparent gemstone and golden wire supported and moved by four animated golden lion legs. She is guarded by a Unicorn in adamantium armor laced with platinum whose horn shimmers with the light of day. Autumn leaves appear in its wake and falsehoods cannot be spoken in its presence.

The second is Duchess Lioness. Her hair is layers of crimson feathers and she has horns which curl upwards from her head. Her canines are sharp and she has talons on her hands and feet. She is followed by her zoo of horrifically hybridized people. Half her manservant's face is that of a glaring chimp as is one of his arms. Her ladies in waiting are ladies with swan necks and bodies with human legs. Many children run to the Zoo with the promise of freedom, only to find themselves in such forms. They are happier this way. Everyone knows what it means when a chimp smiles, after all...

As is often the case, the two most prominent candidates for the holiest role of this happy church, are not themselves true believers. In fact, both of them profit handsomely off of the church, and their businesses are at odds with each other. They are not above sabotage, which has made the political machinations of the church a perilous game.

Despite their differences, they have made a temporary truce, in a bid to overthrow the God Emperor, even as the final invasion of the Ascendant Wizard nears...

2 comments:

  1. HAHAHA this is so awesome! Thank you so much! The funniest thing about this to me is, since Father Karamazov is based off of one of my characters that I play, is just imagining him doing all of this. In that game is is a drunken Russian orthodox priest wish a death wish. This made my day!

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    1. Glad you like it :). I was just going off of the description and the fact that I know you're into Warhammer / 40K and it just kinda came together that way.

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