Weird & Wonderful Blasted Lands: Tarsos Theorem Appreciation

I still don't have as much time or energy as I would like for tabletop or blogging right now, but one thing I've wanted to do is a series of posts where I take some of the generators and other tools that my friends have made, and do 'something' with them. In some cases it may be building worlds or monsters from their tables, or adding entries to their tables, or making scenarios. I'm leaving it loosely defined. Likewise, I'm not making a finite list of who I'll cover or when. I want to show appreciation for the awesome people out there, but I don't want people to think if I don't get to them right away that it means I don't appreciate them! I'm just doing these when I can, how I can, for whoever I can, as they pop into my head randomly.

I'm going to start this series with Tarsos Theorem. Saker Tarsos was one of the first friends I made in the blogosphere community, and currently he's working on some really impressive stuff, so it seemed like a good time to do this already.

So with that:

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There is a planet, a gas giant with beautiful rings which contain many broken ships, slowly hurtling towards the sun.

Within this ecosystem of refugee ships, there is one ship of particular interest to the treasure hunters of the stars, the Oberon Mariner Tango. It is rumored that within the ship are mineral resources, priceless ceramic artifacts, and databases of ancient cryptocurrencies. It is known that civilization on the ship all but collapsed nearly a century ago, after a disastrous collision with another ship containing rare and dangerous lifeforms from throughout the galaxy. Few historical records remain, and they come from dubious sources at best. Even so, they provide a rough account of events preceding The Impact:

Three hundred years ago Grodlise, the High Priest of the Unsteady Haven, forsook all the taboos of their fellow Refugees, learning the Uplifting arts of Savagery, in order to prepare for dark days ahead. It is believed that Grodlise traded an arm and a leg to Limb Dogs in exchange for the silicon eye of a long-dead god. The eye gave them the power to summon creatures and extract life essence. Through hideous experimentation, they combined bits and pieces of summoned creatures and siphoned the life essence of a most cherished, deceased friend. They did not know that the silicon eye was madness-inducing. They believed they revived their friend. It was their revived friend who taught them the uplifting arts of savagery. It is ironic that the fall of Oberon Mariner Tango's greatest civilization would occur as a result of the actions of the once great High Priest Grodlise.

Two hundred years ago Sirilise, Slaver of the Reassuring Caravaneers, led the reconstruction of the Haven of Salvage, in order to fill starving bellies. Sirilise was known for his deadly marskmanship, and his Gabor wave-rifle. An amateur programmer, he used his wave-rifle to program the AI of a dangerous android, accidentally triggering a Schrodinger reaction. Thus, the enslaved Reassuring Caravaneers became unwitting quantum waveform undead outlaws, said to swagger across the circuits of the Oberon Mariner Tango to this day. It is ironic that the revival that was to come, could only have occurred as a result of the actions of a slaver.

One hundred years ago Korliseing, the Gang Leader of the Unsteady Temple, forsook all the taboos of their fellow Prospectors, learning the Uplifting arts of Rediscovery, bringing hope to the downtrodden. Korliseing was opposed by the natural predator of all progress, the Spirit of Degeneracy. It is said to appear as an alert, droning old man with tiny, constantly fidgeting hands. In its presence, one will experience a sense of deja vu, yet to speak in the past tense will dissolve any sense of motivation. Some believe that the Spirit is some manifestation of Grodlise or their friend, or perhaps one of the undead waveforms of the Reassuring Caravaneers. It is ironic that just as civilization on Oberon Mariner Tango was about to reach its second apex, The Impact occurred.

All that is known about the impact is that the captain of the invading ship was Xixaka, a wriggling mantis monk who could command androids, had a penchant for mutilating dead bodies, and was adventuring for sweet, sweet vengeance. Of all the monsters he brought with him in The Impact, one is feared most. It is believed to be a giant maw on comically small legs, with a roar that triggers specific panic responses in sentient beings' brains. As a survival mechanism, it can spit forth a tiny clone of itself upon death. It is believed to be a creature from another dimension. Its guts are interdimensional worms that can be harvested as a means of faster-than-light wormhole travel. Some say it was metaphysically drawn to Oberon Mariner Tango by Grodlise.

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And here are the tools and generator results that went into this creation

Disreputable Wizard
You find this individual trying to bring their most cherished friend back to life through hideous experimentation. They are feeling contemptuous. They have the power to Summon creatures from other worlds. Once, long ago, they lost an arm and a leg to a pack of Limb Dogs. They currently have the madness-inducing silicon eye on a long-dead god.

Rambunctious Apocalyptic Outlaws

• You find these rapscallions ineptly programming the AI of a dangerous android.
• They are swaggering.
• They are bizarre in that they exist as a waveform of probably outlaws yet to be collapsed into a concrete reality.
• Recently, they were caught in the blast of a Schrodinger-Bomb and now are simultaneously alive and dead.
• They are led by a deadly marksman with a high quality sniper rifle.

d36 Automated Encounter Complications

Wandering monster appears: The enemies' natural predator.

Multifarious Mutated Monstrosities

• You find this creature starving and searching for its next meal.
• It is feeling suspicious.
• It is a giant maw on comically small legs
• With a roar that triggers specific panic responses in sentient beings’ brains
• That can spit forth a tiny clone of itself upon death that tries to escape.
• Long ago, this creature was exiled from its own dimension.
• Guts that writhe like snakes can be carved from its corpse. 

Spirits of the Blasted Lands

This spirit appears as a droning old man with tiny, constantly fidgeting hands. It is feeling alert. It was once tasked with opposing all change. You will know when it is near when you experience deja vu. In its presence, you must never speak in the past tense or else you will lose all motivation for your current goal.

Derelict Ship Generator

This ship is called the Oberon Mariner Tango. It is a uninhabitable Mining Frigate with no survivors. The engine, thrusters, and jump drive are non-functioning. It contains 146 scrap, 22 ore, and a cargo of ceramics. The ship was ruined due to crashing into another ship and the crew were pet hoarders.

Sci-Fi Adventure Location Generator

You find this blockade runner concealed within the beautiful rings of a gas giant. It seems ruined. It is on a trajectory hurtling into the sun. It contains data banks storing massive amounts of cryptocurrency, and a gang of infamous space pirates have made it their lair.

Hirelings of the Blasted Lands (with Various Names Generator)

Mantis Name: Xixaka

This is a wriggling mantis monk who can command androids, has a penchant for mutilating dead bodies, and is adventuring for sweet, sweet vengeance.

Histories of the Blasted Lands

1. Korliseing, the Gang Leader of the Unsteady Temple forsook all the taboos of their fellow Prospectors, learning the Uplifting arts of Rediscovery, bringing hope to the downtrodden.

2. Sirilise, Slaver of the Reassuring Caravaneers, led the reconstruction of the Haven of Salvage, in order to fill starving bellies.

3. Grodlise, the High Priest of the Unsteady Haven forsook all the taboos of their fellow Refugees, learning the Uplifting arts of Savagery, in order to prepare for dark days ahead.